profile

The name is
Nicole Allen S. Robale, but i also go by
Kneekah,Kneeks,Nix. I'm
17 years old, but for sure still a
kid at heart. I am currently
in a relationship with the coolest guy ever. I have a major passion for
Photography,Fashion and Basketball.
MUSIC IS MY THERAPY, word. I am currently a
first year student,in college, at
Ateneo de Davao University, and i am taking up
marketing. My
family&friends mean the world to me, so if you mess with them, you're basically gunna get your ass kicked by
YOURS TRULY haha. I am probably the most
randomest person you'll ever meet and i have a tendency to ramble on about stupidness. haha. I like OTH, gossip girl, the hills, heroes, the OC, tattoos, piecings, cotton candy, fruit roll up, oreos, tootsie roll lolipops, gummy bears/worms, my braces, my glasses, pizza, facebook, msn,
OMGPOP etc.etc. Anyways...this is lame, i don't like telling people about myself, so i'll end this bullshit right hurrrrr! hahaha. LAAATERRRRRR STALKERS! ;)
xoxo,
shhhhhhhnix<3.
archives
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those six words*
Wednesday, April 15, 2009 4:37 AM /
to top
Denial; the refusal to acknowledge the existence or severity of unpleasant external realities or internal thoughts and feelings.
Guilt; feelings of culpability especially for imagined offenses or from a sense of inadequacy
Fear; a painful emotion or passion excited by the expectation of evil, or the apprehension of impending danger; apprehension; anxiety; solicitude; alarm; dread.
Anger; a strong passion or emotion of displeasure or antagonism, excited by a real or supposed injury or insult to one's self or others, or by the intent to do such injury.
Depression; an illness that involves the body, mood, and thoughts, that affects the way a person eats and sleeps, the way one feels about oneself, and the way one thinks about things.
Acceptance; An agreeing to the action of another, by some act which binds the person in law.
So you're probably thinking why I wrote those six words and defined them. Well those six words describe what I have been feeling for the past couple of months. These past 8 months have been so hard on me. From living in a place where I grew up in and loved,to moving to a place where I didn't know anybody and where basically everyone spoke in a different language. Don't get me wrong, I understand filipino, but i'm just not used to hearing people speak in it every single day. And to add, I don't even know how to speak filipino. I had to adjust to
all the stares and remarks people made about me. Not going to lie, my first day of school here I was ready to beat the shit out of all the girls looking at me. Due to the fact I don't like it when people look at me AND basically in Canada most people would just cuss at the person staring at you. HAHA.
Denial. Once my parents told me I was moving down here for a couple of months I never believed them. Once they actually forced me onto the plane. (NO LIE).
Guilt. I felt guilty about leaving all of my family and friends there. Especially Ryan Raposo. Because on July 6,2008 was the day he was going to ask me to be his girlfriend. Until, I told him I was going to move to the Philippines. He told me he would wait for as long as it took for me to come back to him and he said he loved me.
Fear. I was scared to lose everything with Ryan and all the other people I loved and cared about. I was basically just scared of moving down here.
Anger. I was angry at my parents for doing this to me. They ruined everything for me. It was going to be my senior year. Supposedly "the best year ever". I wanted to graduate with all of my friends and go to prom with Ryan. I was so angry that for the first couple of months school started for me all I did was party. Getting drunk and smoking weed were all the things I did. I didn't go to class and I didn't do any of my assignments. I failed every class on purpose. Because I thought that if I were to be a "bad girl", my parents would
have to send me back to Canada. We all know that never happened.
Depression. Once I found out I wasn't going to go back anytime soon, I knew I had to start working my ass off to try and catch up on all the work I missed. With the thoughts of Ryan, my friends and family in Canada, all the work I had to do, and my parents, I just felt so depressed and stressed out with everything I had on my mind. I just couldn't take it anymore. So I shut people out (they know who they are). For the people I shut out, I apologize.
Acceptance. I started to realize that once I started doing good, good things would come in return. Lets just wait and see what happens the next couple of months. I'll update you folks on everything ;) haha.
xoxo,
Nix.